Opening Prayer
“Lord Jesus, thank You for bringing us together. As we read and talk about Your words, open our hearts to understand how You want us to handle anger. Help us listen well, be honest, and be willing to change. Holy Spirit, guide our thoughts and our conversation. In Jesus’ name, amen.”
Scripture Reading
- Matthew 5:17–20
- “You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘You shall not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.’ But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to a brother or sister, ‘Raca,’ is answerable to the court. And anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell.
“Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.
“Settle matters quickly with your adversary who is taking you to court. Do it while you are still together on the way, or your adversary may hand you over to the judge, and the judge may hand you over to the officer, and you may be thrown into prison. Truly I tell you, you will not get out until you have paid the last penny.
- “You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘You shall not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.’ But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to a brother or sister, ‘Raca,’ is answerable to the court. And anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell.
Context & Exposition
- These verses are part of the Sermon on the Mount, where Jesus is teaching what life in God’s kingdom looks like.
- The people already knew the command “Do not murder.” Jesus goes deeper and says God cares not just about murder, but about angry thoughts, hurtful words, and broken relationships.
- Jesus shows that:
- Anger is like a warning light in our hearts—something is wrong inside.
- Words like “idiot” or “fool” are serious because they attack a person made in God’s image.
- Fixing relationships is so important to God that He wants us to go and make things right quickly—even before we worship or “move on” with life.
- We should take initiative: if we’ve hurt someone, or if we know someone has something against us, we go to them and seek peace.
“Jesus is teaching that anger itself is not the root problem—it’s a signal. He cares about what’s happening inside our hearts and how we treat people, especially when we’re hurt or upset.”
Discussion Questions
You can choose a few questions based on your family's ages and your timeframe.
- About Anger Itself
- When was the last time you remember feeling angry (even a little bit)? What happened?
- In the sermon, anger was compared to a “warning light” on a car dashboard. What do you think that means?
- Looking Beneath the Anger
- What kinds of things usually hide under anger (e.g., feeling hurt, scared, disrespected, ignored)?
- How might asking, “Why am I angry?” help you deal with anger in a better way?
- Words that Wound
- Have you ever been called a hurtful name? How did it make you feel?
- Have you ever called someone else a hurtful name (even in your head or under your breath)? What was going on inside you?
- Why do you think Jesus treats contempt and name-calling so seriously?
- Reconciliation & Going First
- Jesus says that if you remember someone has something against you, you should go to them. Why is that hard sometimes?
- What might it look like, in our family, to “settle matters quickly” instead of letting them drag on?
- What are some good words we can use to start reconciliation, like: “I value our relationship, and I think something is wrong between us. Can you help me understand?”
- Jesus & Our Power to Change
- How does knowing Jesus forgave the people who hurt Him help us with our anger and forgiveness?
- Where do you feel you need Jesus’ help right now—with your temper, your words, or your willingness to make things right?
Reflection
- For Young Children (ages ~4–8)
- Explain simply:
“Anger is like a little light in your heart that says, ‘Something is wrong!’ Jesus doesn’t just say, ‘Don’t be mad.’ He says, ‘Come talk to Me about your anger, and then choose kind ways to act.’” - Ask:
- When you feel mad, what could you say to Jesus?
- What is one kind thing you can do when you are angry at someone in our family?
- Explain simply:
- For Older Children (ages ~9–12)
- Reflect:
“Anger is not always bad—it can mean something important to you was hurt or disrespected. But if you hold onto anger and let it turn into name-calling, rolling your eyes, or silent treatment, it starts to ‘murder’ love and trust between people.” - Ask:
- Where do you see anger turning into disrespect (at school, online, with siblings)?
- What would it look like for you to be ‘curious, not judgmental’ when you’re angry—either with others or with yourself?
- Reflect:
- For Teens
- Reflect:
“Jesus connects anger, contempt, and murder because they all grow from the same root: seeing someone as less than an image-bearer of God. Online and in real life, contempt is normal—but Jesus calls His followers to be different. He even tells us to interrupt our worship to repair relationships.” - Ask:
- Where are you most tempted to use contempt—sarcasm, shaming, or cutting humor?
- Is there anyone you suspect is hurt or angry with you, even if you’re not totally sure why?
- What would it cost you—and what might it change—if you went first to talk and listen?
- Reflect:
Activity
“Dashboard Light & Under-the-Hood Check”
Materials:
Materials:
- Paper and pencils/markers
- One small flashlight or phone light
- Two index cards (or small pieces of paper) per person
- Optional: a toy car (for younger kids) or a picture of a car dashboard with a “check engine” light printed or drawn
- Turn off or dim the lights.
- Turn on the flashlight or phone light and say:
- “This light is like anger. When it pops on, it’s telling us something is wrong under the hood, inside our hearts.”
- Give each person two index cards.
- On Card 1, have everyone write or draw: “I get angry when…” and list or sketch 1–3 common triggers (e.g., “when people interrupt me,” “when my siblings won’t listen,” “when I feel embarrassed”).
- On Card 2, write or draw: “Underneath my anger, I might be feeling…” and list 1–3 things (e.g., “hurt,” “afraid,” “disrespected,” “left out”).
- Invite each person who is comfortable to share 1 thing from each card.
- As each person shares, the one with the flashlight shines the light briefly on their cards as a picture: “Here is your ‘warning light’. Let’s see what’s under the hood.”
- Explain:
- “Just like a car needs someone to open the hood and fix what’s wrong, we need Jesus and sometimes other people to help us look under our anger and deal with what’s really going on.”
- “Jesus doesn’t just say, ‘Don’t be angry.’ He says, ‘When you realize something is wrong between you and someone else, go to them. Settle it quickly.’”
- Ask: “Is there someone we need to talk to or apologize to in our family?”
- If there is something small and safe to address, you may let one or two family members briefly apologize or clarify with each other right there (keep it short and gentle; this is not for huge or traumatic issues, which need private and sometimes professional help).
- End the activity by turning on the room lights and saying:
- “Jesus is the light who helps us see what’s going on inside and teaches us how to fix things with each other.”
Action Step Prayer
“Lord Jesus, thank You for showing us that anger is like a warning light. Help us not to ignore it or explode because of it. Teach us to stop, to ask, ‘What’s really going on in my heart?’ and to bring that honestly to You.
Show each of us if there is anyone we’ve hurt with our anger, our words, or our silence. Give us the courage to go to them, to listen, and to say ‘I’m sorry’ where we need to. For places where we’ve been deeply hurt and it feels too big to fix, please guide us to the right help and give us Your healing over time.
Make our home a place where we settle things quickly, speak words of life, and treat each other as Your image-bearers. In Your name, Jesus, amen.”
Show each of us if there is anyone we’ve hurt with our anger, our words, or our silence. Give us the courage to go to them, to listen, and to say ‘I’m sorry’ where we need to. For places where we’ve been deeply hurt and it feels too big to fix, please guide us to the right help and give us Your healing over time.
Make our home a place where we settle things quickly, speak words of life, and treat each other as Your image-bearers. In Your name, Jesus, amen.”
Takeaway
- Anger itself is not the main problem; it is a warning light that something deeper is wrong in our hearts.
- As followers of Jesus, we don’t ignore anger or let it explode—we bring it to Him, look beneath it, and move quickly to repair relationships with humble, honest conversations.
Closing Prayer
“Father, thank You for being patient and kind with us, even when we are angry or hurt. Thank You, Jesus, for taking our sin and anger on the cross and showing us a better way. Holy Spirit, remind us this week to notice the ‘warning light’ when we start to get mad. Help us pause, ask why, and choose Your way of love and reconciliation.
Protect our hearts and our relationships. Give us gentle words, quick apologies, and real forgiveness in our family. Walk with us through this week and keep teaching us how to live like Jesus. In His name we pray, amen.”
Protect our hearts and our relationships. Give us gentle words, quick apologies, and real forgiveness in our family. Walk with us through this week and keep teaching us how to live like Jesus. In His name we pray, amen.”