Sometimes people say, “I know God forgives me, but I can’t forgive myself.”

Ultimately, only God can forgive our sins because sins separate us from Him. But we need to consciously choose to receive God’s forgiveness for our sins and our failures, and let go of guilt, self-rejection, anger and condemnation toward ourselves for the ways we have hurt God and others and fallen short of our own ideals.

To not forgive ourselves is to think that what Christ did at the cross was not sufficient to pay for our sins, and we somehow must atone for our sins. But when God, the highest Judge in the universe, declares you to be forgiven – you are! By refusing to receive His forgiveness, we are saying we are a higher judge than He. This is pride and unbelief. We must repent for the sins of self-rejection and unbelief, and receive God’s truth.

One counselor said, “Go ahead and hang on a cross if you want to…but it won’t do any good. Jesus’ death and resurrection alone are enough to pay for your sins. Will you receive His forgiveness?”

It can be helpful to have the person pray, “Lord Jesus, what is at the root of my struggle to forgive myself? Why is this so difficult?” You can lead them through the 4 R’s or other tools as needed.

Here is a sample prayer: